me to my mom: not everyone who speaks spanish is marc anthony ok
*eats 1 carrot*
*checks to see how much weight I’ve lost*
Send me 2 bands and i’ll say which i like better.
Person: “I’m 6ft tall”
me: *tries to imagine six subway sandwiches on top of eachother*
one time my mom hired cleaning ladies to clean the house and a couple of hours after they were done i noticed my cat was missing and we were searching the house looking everywhere for my cat and finally i heard a meow from my room and my cat was literally under the blanket tucked into my bed and my mom called the cleaning ladies asking why the fuck they made the bed over the cat and the woman said “it wouldn’t move”